My Crazy January

Spoiler alert: it hasn’t been that crazy but you wouldn’t actually read on if I’d have said my mental break down month right?

So I’ve had a strange January if anything, it’s been full of spunking money on things that I definitely don’t need, deferring my French uni module and getting back into running. Most of my friends knew that towards the end of last year I was running on overdrive, I had no time for anything, my hours were all planned from 6am- 10pm and I plain wasn’t enjoying life. Whenever I would drink I would get so drunk and either cry or to the point where I wouldn’t remember what had happened during the night – yeh, not so cool.

The reason for this was I had taken too much on; two uni modules, a now 3 hour commute to and from work everyday, 9 hours at work, the stress of wedding and hen do planning, getting back into running/trying to get in shape and all while still trying to have a social life. It just didn’t give me any free time to a) myself and b) with Ben. I think the saying is burning the candle at both ends? But I’m notorious for getting these sayings wrong!

So I decided I couldn’t do and have everything and something would have to give. After a chat down the pub when Ben’s rents came down to see us, I was basically told that I would never get anywhere near professional levels in my running career (which I knew anyway!) and therefore it should be uni I should focus on. After growing up with parents who were so chilled with what we did after we had done our qualifications, funnily enough I didn’t like being told that. So I followed my heart and chose to stick at running, my favourite outlet for stress, a sport in which, no I won’t excel at starting at the age of 21, but I love! On the rare occasion I did open my French books, I was always grumpy, stressed because my ‘tutor’ was the least helpful one I’d had so far and we got off on the wrong foot straight away and upset that I wasn’t excelling as fast as I have with German. So I deferred the year.

Many people would see that as admitting defeat but I’m someone who will often not see things through and it won’t bother me at all. I can return to it, of course, but for the time being there is no point attempting to put half of my heart into something when I could give it my all when I am at a better place in life. Over Christmas I decided to get a lot of wedding planning done so I’m no longer stressed about that and I’m actively making sure I go to as many social events as I can make so not to become a boring loner who lives in the countryside and see’s no-one but her fiancé!

So my weeks are now organised by long runs, my track training (I have finely returned to athletics), gym sessions, nights out and lots of stretching and healthy eating. My mind finely feels good again. I’ve had time to start reading again, in German of course 🙂 and even had time to slip in some bakes. Two of my closest friends are going through individual crises at the moment and I need to be there for them, especially as I experienced something similar in both of their situations.

In other, less morbid news….

– I could be crossing one of my Bucket List items off on the 8th June 😉 very exciting.

– I have entered the ballot for the New York Marathon – what I was thinking when I did this I don’t know, I wasn’t even pissed!

– I have signed up to the actual Will of Iron…which I did do whilst pissed and have just this second remembered – I think I need to quit wine.

– I think I have finally found my bridesmaid dresses!

– I may be booking another tattoo (my in-laws will love that – tehehe).

– I’ve got a skiing holiday on 7th Feb to get real excited about.

– I invested in some new running shoes……..2 pairs, oppsie. I will add photos of all of my new purchases in my next post as I want to do a haul/fitness update.

– I’m back to running 9-10 miles, adding on a mile each week.

– I’ve worked out that my new SITC box set I got for Christmas can be listened to in German! I have been glued to the telly today (I was off work due to some weird illness I have).

And finally, so this isn’t all just boring words, here are some of my photos of what I’ve been up to lately.

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Firstly, I have been loving the sunsets from our bedroom window recently, especially as they’re becoming later and later.

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Yeeees, we have dodgy windows!

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To help me relieve my stress, I’ve been having loads of long baths and getting stuck into this. It’s definitely a young adults book but that’s good for my German.

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Hahaha, had to add this, this is what I just realised I signed up to last night – why oh why do I drink!

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Loving this present I got for Christmas, it really motivates me to get out as you can see your splits, how you’re improving over time and of course, it’s green!

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I’ve been having trouble with my eating at the moment due to my stress, more so with just my body confidence so I found this picture of me when I was at my skinniest and using it as my ‘thinspiration’. I know how wrong this is but there is noway I would go back to my old ways, this is just to prove to myself that I can get to a size I’d like to be when I put my mind to it.

I’ve got a couple of post ideas lined up – now that I actually have time to myself my content will hopefully get a little more interesting. As I’ve said before, I don’t really have a direction with this blog but I lot of the time it will be my rants, thoughts, my fitness and my adventures 🙂 So I hope you keep enjoying a nose into my life and thoughts.

Hope you are all well and 2015 is being kind to you. Much love XX

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Own 2015

Happy New Year to you all!

How did you all spend your New Year’s? Were you hanging out of your arse’s and eating bad food or were you straight down the gym and having a cleansing smoothie?

I have to say I was pretty much between the two! I ended up going to a house party which was pretty fun but I tried to make sure I didn’t get too drunk so I could attempt a 7 mile run – the effort was there guys, I got dressed around half 11 after slobbing in bed all morning, headed out but could only manage just under 2 miles, what a massive fail! I was sick (which I’m pretty sure may have been the alcohol) and I was running pretty quick to get home to the toilet – not good. But I did try and eat a little better yesterday and drunk lots of water.

My mission for today is to get that 7 miler done. I’ve signed up to two half’s this year, one of which I now can’t do as my fiancé booked us tickets to the Athletics in Birmingham that weekend and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had Brighton Half Marathon on the Sunday – for those of you who don’t know, getting to Brighton from Birmingham for a half 8 start would mean leaving at stupid o’clock and my body wouldn’t have been fully prepped. Which is a massive shame as I’ve not run in the Brighton half, I’ll have to sign up for next year instead 🙂

As it is a New Year and every New Year I like to set myself goals rather than resolutions as most people are more likely to stick to a ‘goal’, I’d thought I’d share what I’m going to try and achieve this year.

[1] Complete 5-8 more entries on my Bucket List – this one for me is important. Why have a Bucket List and not bother actually living the experiences you’ve always wanted?

[2] Get back to Half Marathon fitness – I don’t really have a choice on this one, not that I wouldn’t want to do it but as I’ve signed up for two (now one) half marathon, I need to make sure I’m going to be fit enough to complete these without injury. I wanna own sport this year, not only for my body’s sake but for myself. That reminds me: I’ve got to contact my old coach and a potential new one for the Athletics season too!

[3] Start treating my teeth with respect – the more I look at other people’s teeth, especially the older generation, the more I’m frightened that I’ve let this lack of respect go on for too long! The amount of damage I must’ve already caused with the amount of sugar I consume is beyond repair. But what I can do is prevent anymore damage. Ben got an electric toothbrush from my parents for Christmas so I’ve bought a head for it so I can use it too, it comes with this cute little timer which lets you know when you’ve spent long enough on one section of your mouth – it’s surprising how long you actually should spend brushing your teeth! I’ve also got some teeth whitening strips that I wanna give a bash, hopefully sort out the colour a little too.

[4] Turn my diet into a useful one – as you know from all of my ranting and raving, I am always ill. This year I want to make sure I’m getting the most out of my food, with lots of nutrients and vitamins to help me and also getting the right fuel for my running an exercising. This one will be pretty hard as we still have the Christmas shite still in the cupboard but I’m pretty sure Ben may be able to take some into his work and it’ll be eaten up straight away!

[5] Spend more time with my future husband – this is a given. Since moving we’ve barely spent any time in our new home which is a massive shame. I love it here and we moved here for the beautiful countryside, the benefits of being able to cycle without less traffic, talk long walks in the sun and have generally less people around us (unsocial crones!) but we haven’t had the chance to make the most of it! He’s been staying at his parents a lot what with still working in Essex, but now his transfer is scheduled for next week, I’m so excited to have some us time back!

[6] Say no – I am a sucker for saying ‘yes’ to every plan that gets thrown my way. I don’t like letting people down and I have a real time management problem. I need to learn to say to people ‘no’ as I still have other work and Uni work commitments which are more important. In the past I have been guilty for knowing I have an essay due in the next week but still seeing different friends on both weekend days then moaning I haven’t seen Ben and consequently giving myself 48 hours to get the work done! I guess this one is also about learning to manage my time better!

[7] Read 30 books across 2015 – as you can see in one of my latest posts about my most re-read books, I have so many unread books that I want to read but never allow myself the time to do so. This year I’m setting myself the goal of getting through 30 books to make sure that I can actually read the books in my beautiful mini library. I love buying the books themselves and get excited to read them, but the day-to-day running of my life doesn’t normally allow to get much personal reading done. So this is my target for this year.

I’d love to know about your resolutions and goals! I did actually have 10 but I thought 10 would be greedy and quite hard to reach.

Although everyone has been saying ‘this is gonna be my year’, I sort of agree.

This year I will:
– be getting married
– going on a surprise hen do
– taking Ben to the place I grew up skiing
– honeymooning (twice) 😛
– wine tasting
– weekend awaying
– camping
– exploring our new area
and much much more! So I have lots to look forward to.

Here’s to 2015 guys, make sure you own it too!

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